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6 Ways to Prevent Smelly Balls | Advanced Ball Hygiene Tips

Posted by Drew Plotkin (Chief Dude Officer) on

Smelly Balls Be Gone! The Derm Dude’s Sack Hack for Swamp Sack.

Dude’s: Let’s keep it real. Everyone one of us at one time or another has been guilty of (cue horror music) …Smelly Balls. And while some of the more liberal western and northeastern parts of America still consider parole some 20 years after committing such a horrid offense, most times in your life, this is a one and done capital OFFENSE-(IVNESS). One strike and you are OUT.

So what causes your beloved man gems to become an odiferous torture chamber for unsuspecting visitors in the first place? And even more importantly, how can you prevent chemical warfare and ending up on trial for crimes against humanity?

6 Tips To Prevent Smelly Balls

1. Wash Your Balls Dude!

As obvious as it sounds, some dude’s spend too much time listening to Ashton Kutcher (A-list movie stars are allowed to have smelly balls and just about everything else in the world, dude!) Wash your balls every damn day! Multiple times a day, depending on how often you work out or your sweat level.

One word. Bacteria. Not roses, lavender, cotton candy, or anything that sounds appealing. I said BACTERIA. Our balls sweat. (Blame God, not me). And the bacteria in sweat has an odor that generally does not have she/he/they lining up to say, “I wanna be all over THAT.” So the first commandment of no more smelly balls is ‘Wash thyne sack, dude!’

2. Decreased Sugar Intake = Decreased Ball Sack Odor

High-Glycemic foods can actually change the chemical composition of your sweat. (We got this from really smart people, dude). Sugary sweat then meets up with the bacteria on your skin, and they form a brand-new relationship known as B.O. (Not so pleased to meet you). Also, keep an eye on your levels of booze, red meat and spicy foods which tend to intensify any existing body odors.

3. Tighty Whities = Ball Odors Mighty

Simple enough, dude? When you suffocate your sack, payback is a bitch. This means extra sweat which can be a breeding ground for the aforementioned bacteria - causing your man parts to become a very smelly, uninviting place. I highly recommend getting some suitable, breathable underwear such as boxers to prevent moisture build up and thus preventing the family jewels from the dreaded smelly crotch syndrome.

4. Properly Dry your Balls

One of the biggest mistakes most guys make is getting dressed while their twig and berries are still wet. Yes, golf clap cause you actually showered! But when you don’t properly dry your balls, you have damp, moist balls that are an open invitation for bacteria that swamp sack eagerly accepts every time! So dry em! Use a towel, air dryer, close friend (or even an enemy who has a mutual agreement not to bite) but dry your balls before you get dressed.

5. Maintain Your Sack (Less Hair = Less Odor)

‘Welcome to the Jungle’ was a hit G’n’R song but isn’t the type of greeting most of your ‘guests’ will appreciate. And don’t kid yourself if you think growing your own ‘rain forest’ down there is your way of saving the environment. You don’t need to go native but remember that more hair south of the border means more sweat and bacteria, which is a one-way ticket to smelly balls. So keep ‘em groomed.

6. Ball-Wash (Advanced Ball Hygiene)

For the dudes who want to have the best smelling balls on the block, there's no better option than getting yourself some specialized ball hygiene products. These products are fairly new to the market but growing in popularity at an insane rate. Which is no surprise considering how lonely your balls can become if you experience crotch funk. You usually only get one shot - It's just not worth the risk, dude.

It's important when shopping for a legitimate ball-wash to make sure the product has activated charcoal as one of the main ingredients. Activated charcoal absorbs ball odors, toxins and bacteria. This means it will do the job right for both (or, 'all' of you happy campers)

Keep em smelling like amaze balls, dudes.

-Drew Plotkin (Chief Dude Officer)

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4 comments

  • Tyler on

    Shave your balls and wash them daily! I’ll try your ball-wash but be prepared for an honest review Mr. Dermdude.

  • Nicholle on

    Your products are amaze balls!!

  • Nicholle on

    Your products are amaze balls!!

  • Karen on

    Not to be rude but I think a lot of men don’t realize they don’t smell nice at the end of a day. Gotta spread this message!!

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