When your balls smell like you stepped in dog sh*t, it’s like an immediate exclusion zone goes up around you, and sirens go off, sounding “SOLO DUDE ALERT!”
So here’s the sackology 101 on smelly balls: show ‘em some love, and they’ll make sure to return the favor. 😉
Hormones, sweat, bacteria—there’s a lot going on down there. Here’s how to make your balls smell and taste good…Dude…for your VISITORS. Unless, of course, you have sick flexibility like this dude.
“Why Do My Balls Smell?”
Your man jewels are stuffed away in a dark, sometimes damp space for a majority of the time, where they get all nice and toasty, collecting sweat and chafing easily—OF COURSE they stink!
Sweat + Bacteria = Smelly Balls
And while very common, natural ball smells can get to be a little too strong and odorous sometimes.
When it comes to smelly balls and swamp sack, here are six steps that will take you from “F*ck, my balls smell 🤢” and “Maybe I should join the priesthood?” to “Hey! I’m open for business ‘cause my balls smell f*cking great!”
Wash Your Balls (Yes, Every Day, Dude)
If you’ve never been told this before, take from the Derm Dude™. You should be washing your balls every damn day. Not only will it help reduce the chance of your balls smelling vomitously foul by the end of the day, but it’s also just good hygiene, dude.
Lather up your sack, crack, and entire body to remove excess oils and dirt, prevent the spread of bacteria, and eliminate odors caused by sweat.
Shower After Sweating
If you’re working up a sweat, you need to be washing your balls more often. It’s that simple. Your two best mates are down below getting hot & sweaty; the last thing you want to do is leave them hotboxing in their own bacteria. That’s just a welcome invitation for nasty smells.
Dry That Sack
After spending some quality time in the shower dedicated to your prized pair, don’t suddenly ghost them the second you step out. Quickly jumping into your underwear and out the door is like taking two steps forward and one step back…for your sack…which is f*cking whack (unless you want your balls to smell like a filthy crack?). Getting rid of the dampness & drying all the ‘massive’ nooks and crannies before you get dressed helps your balls stay drier, longer.
Use the Right Products
Take things up a notch and really keep the swamp sack & ball odor away with ball-friendly products. People will tell you that you can just throw some baby powder or deodorant down there, and you’re good to go. But we’re telling you now that talc and aluminum have no business being anywhere near your balls.
You want products made specifically for your balls.
The skin of your man parts area is thinner, more delicate, and super sensitive compared to other areas of your body. Use products designed to help with ball sweating, itching, and chafing while also hydrating and protecting the skin.
Upgrade Your Underwear
Sometimes, no matter how thoroughly you wash, dry, and prep your sack, a little perspiration is inevitable. When this does happen, you want to make sure that your underwear isn’t making the situation worse. Roll with breathable, natural fabrics (like cotton) and styles that aren’t too constricting (choose boxers over briefs).
Trim the Hedges (Even Just A Little)
Nobody is saying you need to clear your runway for a smooth landing, BUT…totally ungroomed and perm-gone-wild hair down there can lead to more sweat and bacteria, which means SMELLY BALLS. Just a little lawn care and hedge trimming should do the trick.
Taste & Smell
Now you’re probably thinking, “Okay, so my balls smell better, but what will my *visitors* think about them?” Trust us, the effort will not go unnoticed.
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