Derm Dude Date Night Pre-Game Checklist

Posted by Drew Plotkin ( Chief Dude Officer) on January 25, 2023

Ok, Dude, so maybe it’s still early on in your smokin’ hot new relationship, and every night feels like date night, or maybe you’re 20+ years into forever (and ever). But you’re both past due for a wild throwback (CENSORED) on the kitchen table (after the dishes have been properly rinsed and neatly stacked in the dishwasher, of course). Either way, successful date nights can either be the key gateway to happily ever after, while bad date nights could mean carpel tunnel syndrome and a lifetime of celibacy & weekends watching reruns of Friends.

But fear not my dudes, because this is precisely why your brothers in arms (and sacks, cracks & all other parts) at Derm Dude™ are here to make sure anyone you take on a date brags about you (versus barfs because of you).

As I write this blog post, I am only a few short hours away from my own Derm Dude Date Night ‘Pre-Game’ checklist. Later this evening, my girlfriend and I will enjoy a couple’s pedicure and foot massage.

*Pro-tip dudes: If she doesn’t believe that your sharp, unruly, armor-piercing toe-nails are not actually kept that way for HER protection and defense in case you’re both mugged, then turn a lemon into lemonade and plan pedicures for date night. 😉

Without further ado, here's your official Derm Dude Date Night Pre-Game Checklist:

Life is full of assholes. Don’t smell like one

Our 3-in-1 Power Wash will keep your body & hair clean, soft, hydrated & smelling very ‘open for business.’ Choose from any of our best-selling scents that Dudes and women love. This all-in-one body wash, shampoo AND conditioner may be the first threesome you can ‘honestly’ brag about, Dude.👊 It's also perfect for gym bags, travel bags, and saving time and space without compromising quality.

Show your sack some love. Or nobody else will.

Go Ballgasmic™, Dude. Our charcoal-activated ball wash gets rid of the bacteria and crud that lead to smelly balls. It's also very gentle, helping to prevent irritation & stripping of your body's natural oils. Plus, all of our Derm Dude™ ball care products contain Deoplex®, an all natural deodorizing ingredient your balls (and their visitors) will appreciate. So, give your ball sack the Ballgasmic™ VIP treatment in 16oz size or TSA approved 3oz.

Being ‘sack-religious’ smells heavenly. 😇

After showering and completely drying the rocks, I roll with our Happy Sack Nut Love Cooling Cream™. My favorite sack scent is our MVP, but Coconut Rush is also popular & smells like a tropical vacation for your sack. This cooling, soothing, anti-bacterial, anti-fungal ball cream is how I avoid ball-chafing, jock itch, swamp sack…you name it. Keeps the Dudes cool, happy & refreshed all day long!

Great Smelling Balls are a win-win.

If you want to upgrade your package to First Class, you can finish off your ball routine by spraying a few pumps of our Amaze Balls Refreshing Sack Spray. Cooling, refreshing, and pH balanced for sensitive skin areas, no ball sack should leave home without it.

It’s good to be soft (when it’s your beard).

My beard gets daily grooming love from me already, and I never miss a step of our Power Beard Growth Deluxe Kit. I use our Beardgasmic™ Beard Shampoo & Conditioner to lather my face in the shower. It hydrates, calms & and soothes the skin under my beard. I also keep our 100% peach wood anti-static beard comb in my shower, so I can work the product into my beard and skin while also exfoliating dead skin cells.

After the shower, I use our Beard Growth Roller to help unclog pores, help improve circulation, and to create tiny micro punctures into my skin so that the Mega Beard Growth Oil absorbs even better into the skin beneath my beard. Then I add my Sandalwoody Beard Balm for shaping and style using my boar bristle beard brush.

Finally, I'll hit my beard a few times with our Biotin Beard Growth Spray for the final refreshing touch. The kit also comes with our 10,000 mcg Beard Growth Gummies, and I take 2-3 of those daily because they work great for my beard, skin, and nails

Give some love to the largest organ on your body -Your SKIN!

My skin is covered with a lifetime of tattoos going back 25+ years. I use our Nuclear Balm Tattoo Aftercare after every shower to keep my tattoos hydrated, bright, and vibrant. Plus, it’s 100% natural, petroleum-free, keeps my skin super soft, and is also great for helping brand-new tattoos during the healing process.

I also take our Tattoo Brightening Spray with me everywhere I go so I can spray and instantly brighten with no mess or hassle - anytime, anywhere. And even in winter, I use our SPF 50 Invisible Sunscreen all over. It’s super lightweight, never sticky, water-resistant (daytime dates at the beach, pool, hiking etc.), and it actually makes my tattoos POP with vibrancy while protecting them from fading in the sun.

That’s it, dude. My real actual Derm Dude Date Night Pre-Game Checklist. And the reality is, even if you have a full beard and are covered in tattoos, following the steps above adds less than 10 minutes MAX to your normal routine. Your balls, beard and tattoos will thank you. And your date nights will be fire for both of you.

Cheers dudes-

Drew Plotkin - Founder/Chief Dude Officer